


What happened here ?

by Lowraven



Category: NCIS
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Past, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:09:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28160688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lowraven/pseuds/Lowraven
Summary: A skinny love, that didn't last the year. Two souls that didn't learn to be balanced. Two souls that weren't kind to each other. Two humans, burning from a haunting common past. A love that wasn't enough. A wish shared. Two body, distanced by memories.Song fic, based on Birdy - Skinny love.
Relationships: Timothy McGee/Abby Sciuto
Comments: 4
Kudos: 1





	1. Regrets and faith

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys ! So this is my second song fic. Again, very Mcabby. It's a two chapters fanfiction. Please, read and review, I'd be so happy and thankful for life ! A friendly reminder that english is not my native language. So if there are any mistakes, please correct me, I won't take it bad ! On the other hand, be gentle on the reviews, I'm still new at writing fanfictions. Love you guys ! The next chapter of this fanfiction will be the second part of the song, and the last.

**_« Come on, skinny love, just last the year_ **   
**_Pour a little salt, we were nver here_ **   
**_My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my_ **   
**_Staring at the sink of blood and crushed_ **   
**_veneer »_ **

Laying on the soft blue sheets, she stared at the ceiling. He was right beside her. She could hear his breath, heavy. Quick, like he ran for miles. Full of concern, about what had just happened. Full of hopes, about what could happen. Minutes ago, he hand his hands on her. He had been stroking her hair, brushing her curls with his fingers. He had been kissing every inch of that porcelain skin, that felt so cold under his touch. But still, her eyes burned with desire. Her eyes shut in pleasure, her mouth forming gentle sounds. Her back arched under the softness of those lips, she had been fantasizing about. Minutes ago, they were one. Right now, they were two. Two distinct souls. Way too distinct. The blanket felt so heavy, she felt like being crushed under it. Her body was burying itself into the mattress. At any moment,she could stop breathing, feeling his own breath fall as his mouth could open. The words would come out at some point. She would hear them once again, and her heart would break into pieces.

_**« Tell my love to wreck it allaient** _   
_**Cut out all the ropes and let me fall** _   
_**My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my** _   
_**Right at the moment, this order’s tall »** _

She would fall from the last floor. Her body would crash on the ground, in a painful motion. He was lying at the other side of the bed, back turned to her. He knew his world would shatter. He knew his hands would be shaking in a matter of time. His head would be aching at the sight of memories, just like hers would. He would shut his eyes, trying to erase the clear picture, just as she would. Because that was a mistake. That was all it was. And he could feel the heaviness, floating in the air. In a matter of time, she would say those words he didn’t want to hear. He didn’t want those sounds to come to his ears. But at some point, they would. She would whisper so gently, so softly, that he could just pretend.

_**« And I told you to be patient** _   
_**And I told you to be fine** _   
_**And I told you to be balanced** _   
_**And I told you to be kind »** _

She told him a million times. Time was precious, a gift she was craving for. The only thing she needed from him. But he just couldn’t shut his mouth, as the man he was. A million times, he wrecked her with his love. He drown her, not letting her catch her breath. And in those eyes, she could see the hope. He still had faith. Minutes ago, his eyes were sparkling, his mouth whispering a thousand word she was glad to hear. But minutes had passed. And now, she didn’t want to hear a thing. Eyes shut, lips pressed hardly again each other. The words would fall, hurting some walls. Silently, she was creating a barrie. While he wished he could protect her, she was keeping herself from him. To his eyes, she was so vulnerable. Tomorrow, she might die. As beautiful as a butterfly, he wanted to cherish her sight. She had offered him what he judged to be the most precious thing. She let him in. His hands on her, his eyes sliding on that milky skin. She showed love, proved love. The way she whispered his name, when her body was arching. The way she relaxed just after. She silently screamed three little words, without knowing it. And still, she didn’t mean them. Because she hadn’t offered him anything. It was not her, that she gave when his hands were melting her skin. They shared. Like they did yesterday, a month ago, or maybe three years ago. And she didn’t scream those words. Her eyes shut suddenly, wishing that if she kept them closed long enough, she would appear somewhere else. Anywhere, but not beside him.

**_« And in the morning, I'll be with you_ **   
**_But it will be a different kind_ **   
**_'Cause I'll be holding all the tickets_ **   
**_And you'll be owning all the fines »_ **

In the morning, he’d wake up with his eyes landing on her. On that body, far from his. That body that would be curled up in a ball, stinking regrets. He made himself a fool again. He knew what would come. He knew the way her body would be aching. He knew pearls would form into the emerald eyes of hers. Just as he’d contain his. Soon, she’d realise that he would hold back everything, creating a file against her. Soon, she’d realise that he would distance himself. And in the morning, when the sun would rise, she’d pretend to sleep. Not a finger would brush her cheek, greeting her. Not a kiss would land on her lips, far away from the sleeping beauty. She could hear him turning and turning, not finding a comfortable position. Maybe if she’d left, he would sleep properly. But, as much as she wanted to forget, she wanted to spend the night. A pleasant illusion of what used to be theirs. A love that they had let slip between their fingers. Though they felt like holding it tight. At night, she would wake up and snuggle against his corps. He would vaguely notice, and bring her closer. As mush as she wanted to run away, she’d give anything to go back. To smell waffles in the morning, getting in the kitchen, greeted by a caring lover. But nothing was left, except two souls turning their back. Two souls aching from an haunting past.


	2. Lost and found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is the last chapter. It's not as good as I wanted it to be. I'm a bit disappointed in myself, I have to admit. But christmas has been rough on me. I didn't have that much time between school work and events, so writing came after. Still, I was supposed to do some homeworks when I wrote that. I'm not really good at stories that imply love. Anyway, I hope you will still enjoy this one ! Reviews are very welcome, I read all of them and they make me deeply happy. :) Have a good day, and I hope it's going to be an amazing year for you !

**Previously :** "As mush as she wanted to run away, she’d give anything to go back. To smell waffles in the morning, getting in the kitchen, greeted by a caring lover. But nothing was left, except two souls turning their back. Two souls aching from an haunting past."

**_" Come on skinny love, what happened here?  
Suckle on the hope in light brassiere  
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my  
Sullen load is full, so slow on the split "_ **

Goodmorning. A simple word, a greeting. The beggining of a day, of a journey. And yet, they weren’t good at it. Goodmornings were never their thing. She had opened her eyes, overwhelmed by a sudden panic. Turning to face the tossed sheets, she remembered. Her head was aching, facing the memories of a chaotic night. Her fingers trailed on the cold mattress. She fell asleep next to him, for sure. Her eyes shut, wishing that it had never happened. But when they opened, her heart skipped a beat, facing his absence. Yesterday, she was so sure of herself. So sure of what she didn’t want. One night, and everything was gone. Him first. His smell was still floating, torturing her. Staring at the ceiling, her mind wandered. The warmth of his body had disappeared. Though, his perfume lasted. Maybe, just maybe, if she closed her eyes she would wake up again, next to him this time. Maybe it wouldn’t be that over. Maybe hope would exist, in another dimension. A single tear caressed her cheek. She had failed, once again. But this time, she had failed him. She failed promises she never told.

Suddenly, the sheets felt incredibly cold on her naked skin. She caught herself smiling at the blue fabric. They were her favorites. She got up, heading to his closet. She searched a moment, and finally found the treasure. After all those years, he had kept it. That baby blue shirt, that she liked so much. She would wear it every time, clean or not. Even before their relationship, that was the first thing she wore when she first came to his appartment. Soon, she claimed it as hers. And he kept it. Probably not for her, but still, he kept it, while he could have just burned it. Quickly, she dressed. Soon, the door was opened, and she found herself in the kitchen, her eyes staring at him.

**_"And I told you to be patient  
And I told you to be fine  
And I told you to be balanced  
And I told you to be kind"_ **

Waffles. Waffles and pancakes. Her favorite breakfast. His back was turned to the door, so he didn’t see her coming. Jazz as a background sound kept him from hearing her. He didn’t feel her insistant look on him. _Patient._ He had been. Oh god, how patient was he. He had forgotten himself, drowning in love. But in his fall, he had hung on her, dragging her with him. How he wanted to save her. But one that don’t know how to swim has no chance to survive in an endless ocean. He exhausted himself, trying to save both of them. And soon, not a single head was out of the water. _Fine_. He sure wasn’t. His lungs were consumed. Breathing became impossible. His heart was in tiny pieces. She asked for the moon, while he was six feet under the dirt. She was begging him to live, when he died thousands years ago. _Balanced_. He had never been. Everything or nothing was his way of living, that had lead him to now just survive. He burned her, bringing her with him in the abyss. Dying alone was the worst way of dying. But he had no idea that two souls kept together could feel that lonely. He gave everything, but also took everything, without asking for permission. _Kind_. He sure was. A caring soul, begging to be completed. The best a man could shelter. He wasn’t a man of words, at least he wasn’t good at expressing himself in speeches. But paper worked for him, and worked more than well. He wrote poems, for her. Sometimes on toilet paper, when he had nothing. Sometimes on the most beautiful paper she had ever seen. But one day was enough to make it vanish. She didn’t even found the ashes on the ground. Nothing left, as it had never happened.

**_"And now, all your love is wasted_**  
 ** _Then who the hell was I?_**  
 ** _'Cause now I'm breaking at the bridges_**  
 ** _And at the end of all your lies_** "

If only they could pretend. Pretend that nothing had happened. That distance wasn’t such a thing here, that they didn’t die in the arms of each other. And with her arms circling his waist, she did. He agreed in silence, embracing her. Her head rested on his chest for a while, listening to the heartbeat that she was once scared to never hear again. Coming closer, she stared at him, until he dared to look at her. A small smile painted on his lips, he whispered a « hi » so softly, that it almost felt unreal. No answer came. Suddenly, her eyes were found wet. She wanted to throw herself in his arms. To beg for that warm embrace, to make him promise that he’d never let go. But he already had.

A second after, her head rested on his shoulder, begging for comfort. Her eyes were closed, and she stood there, praying. Praying for herself, for her life. For him. She heard a small noise, and soon realised he had let go of the spoon he was holding. She felt a hand on her waist, a hand that was pulling her closer. Soon, her head was buried in his neck, his arms circling her body. A hand was stroking his cheek.

**_"Who will love you?_ **   
**_Who will fight?_ **   
**_And who will fall far behind?"_ **

_« What happened to us ? »_ her voice asked in a whisper. A whimper, maybe.

 _« I don’t think I can do this anymore. »_ He didn’t say sorry. And he wasn’t. He saw her eyes falling on the ground, her hands joining each other to fidget. He felt the universe shatter, could almost touch the tension spreading in the air. She didn’t even realise, when his arms left her. His eyes laying on her, he wished he had never met her. So many years ago, he met something that he was taking for a small wind. But soon, the tornado appeared. He stood there, wishing hope would leave his body. He tried to collect the pieces that broke, to fix them. But there were so many. The ground was covered, covered from them. _« I know. Me neither, Tim. I can’t. »_ A pain settled in her chest. Her vision blured. She had trapped herself in an infernal cycle, and couldn’t see the end. Her life went dark. Soon, she’d be walking away from him, and for good. Because there was no point in staying if that meant hurt him. Because there was no point in trying, if the end was certain. Her mouth wanted to move, to say those words that were hiding since too long. But she stood there, paralyzed. She had never claimed to be fearless. But she had claimed to be a strong woman, with no need of a man in her life. And there he stood, a proof of her lie. She sighed, slow and heavy. Holding back tears that shouldn’t be there. She shouldn’t be crying, and yet, she was on the verge.

_**"Come on skinny love"** _

Their eyes met again, and for a second, time stopped. In each other, they saw something they thought would never appear again. His eyes sparkled, in a painful way. His heart was pounding in his chest. That hope, the hope he tried to erase so forcefully, hit him stronger. A hug. A kiss, a cheek stroke. Her hands on his, her smile brightning the dark. A light in the cold night. A warm body, full of love that craved to be taken. Slightly, his lips elongated into a faint smile.

A familiar sent. A feeling of security. Her body warming up, only at his sight. Her gaze, deep in his. A burning soul, a hopeless man. A smile, faced by tears. Seeing him right before her, she gave up. A single tear ran down her cheek, soon followed by its crewmates. She took a step closer. With the sleeve of his beloved shirt, she wiped the tears away, wishing to throw the pain. Her hands gripped the collar of his shirt, in a desperate motion.

**_"My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my_**  
 ** _My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my._** "

_« Don’t let me go. »_ She begged, as a smile creeped on her lips, smelling pure pain. His hand rose, and a second later, rested on her cheek. She went for more pressure, more contact. She saw the end in everything. She ruined their last times. She made it the last, and she had made it frightful.

 _« I should have never let you let me go. »_ A white flag was waved. The traffic light turned green again. One night, and the orange became red. A minute, and the red turned green.A second, and the traffic snarl was gone.

Her lips crashed on his. Her breath mixed with his, their lips moved so slowly, so gently, as if the world was ending. As if they were enjoying their last moment. His arms sneaked around her waist, pulling her closer. And there they stayed, promising each other that this time, no goodbyes were included. The goodbye for now had came to an end. And as the last chapter was written, there was no place to a goodbye for good.


End file.
